Where's the beef?

We had some friends over for dinner last night. Although I love their company, I’d put off inviting them over because they are vegans. As you know vegans don’t eat meat or any animal products, no dairy, no eggs, no fish. All of which are big staples of my company cooking capabilities. And you just can’t throw a big plate of salad in front of people and call it a meal. What little I know about being vegan is that you have to get your complete protein from the simultaneous consumption of beans and rice.

Hmmm. The truth was, I was venturing into unfamiliar territory and I was scared.

Finally, I called them and we settled on the date, trusting on faith that somehow I could come up with a menu I could manage. I did. I made my best cabbage rolls using black beans instead of lamb or ground chuck. That along with some tabouli, hummus, baba ganoush and olives actually made a meal.

And it turned out pretty good, even if I do say so myself. My recipe is probably not going to make the vegan version of the Pillsbury Bake-Off, but it was edible. And the great conversation and pleasure of their company more than made up for any lack in my personal culinary skills.

As I was cleaning up I thought about how silly it had been for me to be so nervous. If my dinner had been totally inedible, we would have munched on bread and eaten olives. We would have all had a good laugh at my expense and that would be the worse.

But I guess the thing is, sometimes imagining the worst can just get completely out of hand. The worst takes on a stature that seems like a tremendous life changing armageddon. Terrible things do happen, but in truth they are so rare.

I have a dear young man in my life whom I love and admire deeply. He’s spent the last few years and more than a few dollars trying to bring to life a business that he really loves and believes in. Troubled times, tight credit, bad luck, it just hasn’t happened.

Now, disappointed and probably a little disgusted, he’s worried about supporting his wife and kids, anxious about paying the mortgage. Maybe even angry that hard work doesn’t always pay off. That sometimes despite careful planning and diligent efforts, the elements of success don’t readily come together. I guess it’s really a wonder that they ever do.

I think if he were to ask my advice, I’d suggest that he take a step backward. The way I see it, who you are is infinitely more important than what you do. Career is not the definition of life. Life is spouse and family, friends and community. It's the human connections that you make in this world while you still can.

Not that work isn’t important. A smart guy with a quick mind will always have to be striving. But success is not the end all, it is the means to an end. We are obligated to use our skills and talents to provide for ourselves, our kids and those around us in need. As the bible puts it, (Luke 12:46) “to whom much is given, much is required.” Or as my Okie oilpatch dad would have said, “Do the best you can with the tools you’ve got.”

Setbacks and stumbling blocks are the fodder from which creativity and ingenuity are made. Giving into fear or cynicism is just a waste of time. Sooner or later we’ve all got to man-up, or woman-up, and face the necessity of altering the recipe. Keeping clear that dinner with friends is never about the food.